like looking into a mirror

Someone posted this great article from The Washington Post this morning, titled "A Love Note to the Workaholic." I've been called a workaholic at times, and I've pushed it aside, not agreeing with the tag. "Workaholic," after all, means "one who loves work," does it not? And I don't think it's a LOVE of work that keeps me thinking about my to-do list and checking calculations and phrases in my mind when my head hits the pillow at night - it's a desire to make sure I did it all right.

I didn't think this article applied to me, but after reading the following passage, I realized it did:

"We start to manage situations and micromanage the people around us, not just at work but in the rest of our lives as well. We make what is uncertain certain, no matter what the cost. We basically stay so busy that the truth of our lives can never catch up. We look confident on the outside and feel scared on the inside."

I don't know if I've ever read or heard of such a perfect summary of the way that my mind works. In fact, I don't think I even knew this about myself until I read this explanation. Order, control, organization, planning, and a sense of preparedness are all things that I've learned that I value. There was a time when I thought that I was more of a risk-taker, more spontaneous, a little more reckless...but that must have just been me in my teens when being reckless still meant that I came home to my parents' home each night!

Now, I think I'd like to give myself a bit more credit than this - I'm not terrified all the time, but I do think of all the possibilities, assess all the potentials losses, outcomes, and risks, and it is for this reason that I make detailed packing lists and write events into a planner, try to tie up loose ends before I leave the office, and do my best not to leave things to chance.

Anyways. It was just nice to see someone make sense of what I know about myself :)