oh no

I just counted and realized that I only have 9 days of class, scratch that, 8 days of class left as a college student. May or may not be breathing rapidly. Oh god.

yes.

I reluctantly admit that I have become quite a fan of "Glee"...the concept of putting out a mainstream sitcom in the form of weekly musicals has fascinated me from the start, but I didn't like the first couple episodes. I really enjoy it now!

Anyways, this week's episode was about female empowerment, Madonna, and guys being douche bags. BEST. LINE. EVER.

"I am a powerful woman and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality!"

marathon monday

Today was my last Marathon Monday as a student at Wellesley College...hate to get nostalgic again, but I'm going to have to tell you that my thoughts, songs, and writings are going to have that tinge of reluctance and memory to them as I continue to move towards the end of my time in this beautiful, crazy, but beautiful place. I got together with a few of my friends, including one who studied abroad with me in Aix from Amherst College who came to visit for the weekend, and we got dressed in Wellesley College Scream Tunnel tee-shirts and got ready to cheer up a storm!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the famous Boston

Marathon "Scream Tunnel", let me tell you a little bit about it: the Boston Marathon course passes right next to Wellesley College along Route 135. Year after year, Wellesley women have lined the road with hands waving, clapping, voices cheering, screaming, smiling, holding signs, giving embraces, high-fives, and kisses to the people who have taken on the challenge of running 26 miles from Hopkinton to Boston. From what I hear, it's an incredible, invaluable experience for those running. As they hit the half-way point, right before "Heartbreak Hill", they're given an extra burst of energy and hope as they approach and run through the deafening support of thousands of Wellesley women. This year, I got to see a whole bunch of classmates, old roommates, alumnae friends, and inspiring individuals run through, and it was thrilling! It's always inspiring to see people running for love, for friends, for causes, for life...

It was a really weird feeling, seeing good friends, alumnae, former problem set partners, roommates, and club members running by and cheering them onto success. I have a feeling that this is what life is going to feel like from here on out. We're going to see our classmates' names, our friends' accomplishments written out in the sky and in lights, proclaimed in the paper and on the television someday, and I won't be able to help but be proud and smile and cheer them on, knowing that we've had a common four-year experience. Of course, none of our times in college have been the same, but we have an understanding, a strength that I don't think that many other people can say that they share when they leave college.

another nice dream

I had a dream last night that it was some time in the future and I was standing on the sideline of a Whiptails practice. George was coaching and we were working on our horizontal offense. I was still wearing an ankle brace and not allowed to practice/run...but then suddenly between points, I got excited, and I ran across the field and it didn't hurt, and my brace came off and I could play :)

so proud to be a wellesley woman

I just got back from watching a student-written, directed, and performed musical called "Jack in the Shutterbox." While some of the performers were somewhat inexperienced...I was floored. The student, a girl in my graduating class, who wrote all the music and first had the idea to write this was inspired to do so when she lost one of her childhood friends and experienced loss with the Virginia Tech shooting that occurred a few years ago. The music was original, the staging of the show was fabulous, and the story was WONDERFUL. It all took place in the dreams/subconscious of the main character, Jack, a 20-something year old man who finds his dream-world invaded by elements of reality that he is not ready to or willing to face, particularly the death of his childhood friend, Sarah. It was SO well done, and I'm incredibly impressed. As you can probably imagine, I cried. Big surprise. A lot of people did, actually. The pain and reluctance that are apparent in the script and songs are clearly translations of the composer's own experiences and sentiments. It is amazing what life, passion, and persistence can produce and what brilliant people can do with the experiences that enlighten or befall them.

This is not the first time that I've been totally blown away by the brilliance of my classmates and fellow Wellesley women. I'm not saying that I'm a fan of everyone...in fact there are plenty of people on this campus that I'd rather not see or talk to again. But isn't that the case with the world in general? But here, here at Wellesley, every other conversation, every person I meet has a story, a reason for being here, something he or she wants to accomplish, some small secret or hidden pleasure that makes them unique and helps them to bring a new perspective to the world. Wellesley most certainly hasn't been the easiest college experience, and at times, I'll even admit that it hasn't been fun. But I wouldn't give up any of it. I've learned, changed, grown, experienced so much in my four years here. The disorientation, the laughter, the pain, the happiness, the frustration, the sadness, the stress, the smiles, the warm hugs, the cold glares...I wouldn't give up any of it. Even the sprained ankle. Though it sucks A LOT I think I'm learning things from the ridiculously terrible experience.

Just in this year, I've seen several amazing student theatre productions, witnessed (and been a part of) a campus-wide fight against hetero-normative/sexist violations of the right to free speech and privacy, had friends and classmates do amazing things like volunteer in medical clinics set up children's education programs in developing countries, and forced me to question my own beliefs and principles to remind me that I can't just HAVE an opinion but have a reason for it.

I. love. Wellesley.

Updates

Exciting news to report about my job search!

I had an interview for a Research Assistant position at the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston last week, and I felt like it went really well. It was my first "real" phone interview, and we talked about the position itself, the structure of the bank, my career and academic experience, and we talked a lot about my schoolwork, specifically my papers about the U.S.-China Trade Deficit and my Econometrics final research paper about the effect of parental presence in childhood on long-term educational achievement in South Africa. I'm still waiting to hear back about a follow-up to see if I get moved on to the next round or not, but no matter what happens, I feel like the first round went well!

Then, next week, I'll be interviewing for the final round for the selection of the Marian K. Chamberlain Fellowship at the Institute for Women's Policy Research!! I'm a little bit nervous about it, but I'm hoping that just being myself and making evident my interests and passions will be enough!

My friends and I have all been hearing back about jobs here and there, getting second interviews, and it really feels strange to know that we're entering the realm of the real world soon. Bizarre.

Also, I just sent in my withdrawal from the French Teaching Assistantship Program. That was the one solid job that I had. Life, please show me that my faith in hard work and persistence is not unfounded! Here we go.

tough weekend

What a tough weekend. Emotionally and physically.

We ran our hearts out this weekend, by the end we were literally down to the last seven who still had the energy left to sprint out a good cut, play real defense, and run down a long huck. We were also down a bunch of people: two severely sprained ankles, one concussion, and one girl got really sick yesterday and had to stay behind. That took a big hit on our d-line cutters. In the end, we had some disappointing losses, some great ultimate, and in the end a tough loss against MIT to lose in the game for the last spot to Regionals. I was really proud of our team because they played some incredible defense, and a whole bunch of the team stepped up and played the best I've ever seen them play this weekend. A good weekend to do so!

But, as we finished high-fiving MIT at the end of our game, I couldn't help but burst into tears. After everything that I put into the team as a captain and teammate, all the planning, all the meetings, all the incredibly difficult leadership crap I had to put up with (including dealing with angry outbursts, people yelling at me and calling me a bad captain for having to be harsh, and dealing with mental/emotional conditions on the team), and all the personal work I put into getting into the best shape I could possibly be in for my last run in the College Series...I ended up in a boot on the sideline. I definitely enjoyed being there for my team, and I feel like I did a good job calling lines and plays, staying active on the sideline, talking to the defense and offense and helping my teammates out the best I could. In the end, though, not being able to play hurt like a bitch. And seeing my team run so so hard through that last point and having to see the bid to Regionals slip away in the end was really tough. They played so well.

What a year. I can't help it but be selfish and wish I could've played, but I'm sincerely so proud of the Whiptails and all the work they did and the fun they've had this year. Here's to an awesome four years with the Wellesley Whiptails!

Wellesley Whiptails, Class of 2010!